The other day Brandon (that's my seven year old) and I went for a
run. Well he rode his bike and I interval trained (which I might add is comical
from an outside view). He kept letting his bike drop, which is interesting
because he really is pretty good at riding, or he'd stop right in the middle of
a good stride. I would tell him "keep going!" This happened
several times and it got me thinking about habits we have as single parents.
We want the same things that everyone else does. We want happy,
healthy, well-adjusted children. We want financial security, we want to advance
and become successful in whatever endeavor we're pursuing at the moment and on
a long-term basis. We want lots of energy, we too want to be physically
healthy, fit and accept ourselves when we look in the mirror. But what happens?
We stop. It's hard and let's be truthful about it is harder for a single parent
because we are IT period end of story and we know it and that’s a lot of
pressure, so we get burnt out and we stop.
With this knowing though comes two choices as I see it today.
One we can be the poor single parent that doesn't have the time, doesn't
have the energy, and doesn’t have the money and doesn’t have and doesn’t have.
Or we can choose something else.
We can make valid choices every day to keep going, to keep pursing
those things that fill us with passion, with light, with energy and vitality.
Every time my son stopped I told him “you have to keep going bud, it doesn’t
matter how slow you go just keep going and then we’ll take a break”. Sounds a little harsh doesn’t it? But as I
train myself, I teach him habits I know will last a lifetime.
Making that choice everyday to pursue to the things WE really want
and love is important and the impact is far greater than what we tend to think
about in our own minds. We make it to
small. When we make that effort to nourish our bodies, our minds, our souls on
regular basis it fills us with life. That
doesn’t mean we’re not going to fail, it doesn’t mean that handling those situations
that come up as a single parent aren’t going to be hard, but it does mean that
we’re better fit for it, and it won’t break us down. At that point we can keep
going.
There are many authors, motivational speakers, spiritual leaders,
and entrepreneurs that talk about the importance of continued effort over
periods of time. They all inspire me, and in truth to name a few these women
inspire me even more. Dr. Maya Angelou (we should all know who she is!), J.K.
Rowland (author of The Harry Potter books), Barbara Walters (famous journalist
20/20), and Maria Montessori (founder of Montessori Methods for Education) are
and were all single Mom’s that can serve as a wonderful example and mentor to
all of us what that continued effort and persistence can achieve.
Sometimes I think we have a tendency to over complicate, and to
compare where we’re at with those around us.
Keep it simple and just get
started.
Five things that might help…. Or that help me every day to keep
going
1. Write
down at least one thing you’re grateful for everyday… I write three or use the ABC method (one
thing for every letter of the alphabet)
2.
Put good stuff in your body… I drink a shake, but you’ve got to find
what works for you!
3.
Set an intention for the day… I set things like “I’m going to find
humor in every situation I encounter today (or make it)…. Or … I am going to be
the best at … today” I write on a notecard or my hand so that way I’m aware of
it throughout the day. Keep it simple.
4.
Listen to something that makes you feel
amped or inspired… I
listen to motivational podcasts from Tony Robbins, Chalene Johnson, TED Talks,
and music like Eminem, Fort Minor, and Sugarland…. You get the picture.
5.
I tell my kids I love them and what I love
about them… Yeap simple
but it allows me a minute on the roughest days to say hey I’m here I love you
and you’re important to me and keeps me grounded.
The most important thing I think I can say here is the thing that I
have to hammer into my own head at times.
Just keep going, it may get rocky and suck at times, it may be slow but it’s
my journey and the most important thing I can do is be present for it… The time
will pass anyways even if I’m not.
